Fuck the disappearing thoughts taking nothing but happiness. The lengthy winter awaits and very little progress equals shame. But when the winds blow cold and the heater begins calling out for you, you can only wish to disappear. I dreamt you were alone vulnerable in a shower. But i wasn't the predator, a wolf in sheeps clothing was drawing me in and keeping my faith in a clever coin purse filled with others like me. I know this, but not in this dream. you were portrayed as innocent on the outside. Like i was the only one, one we know i can never be. The water ran red until i touched you, you drew me into something opposite of your upside down reflection. I clamored in haste and comfort of the beauty i held, if only for brief minutes. I woke, day changed as this person was brought from some deep place in my memory. Every line on her face and body was defined so well, but sitting now i cannot remember her exactly. Is it in me now to accommodate such dreams, to where they fade into a reality and lose their value, or maybe i'm intended to stay clean. Out of wrecked houses, clean but lacking. Forever stooping under true beauty and peace. Where things align, nothing is left to imagination. Only to get accustomed and have it ripped apart i suppose.
Before the season ends i only wonder who will come out of the wood work to haunt me, to change me or how i see things. My mind monopolizes these regrets, these feelings of dark passing. The darkness and light i dream of. The touch, the criticism. She's long drifted away, i'm glad.
